


This ship has taken me far away

by 7years



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: "all words are made up", "that's a made-up word", Alternate Universe - Space, Feelings Realization, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Seokwoo-centric, title taken from Muse's Starlight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25895161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7years/pseuds/7years
Summary: Seokwoo never imagined leaving Serce without Juho. The plan had always been to leave together, to explore the universe side by side.
Relationships: Baek Juho | Zuho/Kim Seokwoo | Rowoon
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17
Collections: Round One: Ringing In The Fanfare





	This ship has taken me far away

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt SP01of SF9 Fic Fest

**DAY : 1**

“I wish you could come with me.”

Seokwoo doesn’t want to say such redundant and hurtful words, but they slip out of him anyway in a rushed whisper, as if they too don’t want to be heard. He thinks he might have imagined saying them until Juho replies with an equally soft “I know.”

They let the noise of the bustling terminal fill the space between them while Seokwoo studies his boots. The hand he's holding tightens its grip, and he looks up to see an unrecognizable expression on his friend's face. When the lips part Seokwoo has the wild idea that Juho’s next word would be 'stay', but that thought disappears as quickly as it came when Juho only takes a deep breath, the strange look from before promptly replaced with a smirk.

“Go.” They both know that Juho would never hold him back. With another reassuring squeeze, Juho removes his hand from Seokwoo's and takes a step back, the smirk now morphed into a familiar bright smile. A contrast to the overcast day. Seokwoo rushes forward to give Juho yet another bone crushing hug before heading towards the docks without another word. The giddy feeling that greeted him this morning is rapidly seeping back into his veins, quickening his steps as he weaves through the small crowd of people (and a flock of aves).

“I'm still the better pilot, you know!”

Seokwoo laughs at the exclamation thrown at his back as he almost jogs to the shuttle.

“You wish!” He looks back at his still smiling friend, waving a little before the hatch closes, cutting him off. The muted thump that follows is uncannily loud but Seokwoo doesn't let himself worry about that. There's still so many things to do before they can take off, and he needs to focus if he wants to leave the planet in one piece.

**DAY : 23**

Keplar-12i looks uninhabited upon first glance even though the initial satellite scan showed hospitable conditions. It’s covered with water that’s a brilliant blue, shining brightly in white dwarf sunlight it’s almost glowing. Huge mass of purple and blue mineral rise up from the water, some tall and tapered, and some wide and leveled like they’ve been squashed by a great force.

“It’s beautiful.” Seokwoo gushes, unable to hide his amazement. He carefully walks towards the edge of the craggy landmass their spacecraft is precariously perched on to take in the sight. The aerial view was breathtaking but it’s even more beautiful from down here. In front of them stands a row of towering curved columns, like gigantic talons piercing through the still water, and further away are more structures of various sizes. Light being reflected from the water makes their smooth crystalline surface shimmers.

“It’s pretty,” Inseong agrees, coming to stand next to Seokwoo. “And those stones are a different substance from this land.” He scuffs the ground to prove his point; the surface is rough and opaque, and it’s a darker shade of purple compared to the surrounding monoliths. “Let’s scan the topography.”

They set up the clinometer and while Inseong takes the readings they agree for Seokwoo to venture further up the rocky terrain where they saw patches of red before they landed. It could be native vegetation or a different mineral and either prospect is thrilling to Seokwoo.

The red patches turn out to be clusters of circular disks situated close together, all about the size of Seokwoo’s palm. They don’t seem to be a form of minerals. Although they are flat and are seemingly stuck to the ground they appear soft, almost fragile. Seokwoo dons his gloves and mask before trying to lift one of the oddities with his fingers.

“And then there was this shrill sound and it puffed up into a ball and exploded in my face.”

“IT EXPLODED?!” Juho’s voice cracks over the speakers, his eyes widen and his eyebrows disappear behind his messy bangs. This horrified-by-a-tale-of-exploding-organism is definitely going onto the Juho’s Best Expressions list. “And it even gave a death cry??” He looks like he’s about to cry or faint.

“I think the sound came from it inflating itself before it burst, but it was still a bit scary.” Seokwoo sits up to try to find a more comfortable position. Of all the things that come with living in a spacecraft the hard bunk is one thing that he’s still getting used to. “It recovered to its original state almost immediately though so it’s fine. I thought it died.” While Seokwoo adjusts the pillow behind his back Juho gets up from his own bed to turn on his room light, causing Seokwoo to squint his eyes from the brightened screen before it adjusts itself.

Juho’s worried face fills the screen, with his puffy eyes on prominent display. The guilt for waking him up returns even though he assured Seokwoo that he’s happy that Seokwoo called. “But are you okay? Did it spray you with poison or something?”

“I’m okay, it was just air.” The compartment door slides opens and Inseong comes in, heading straight towards his desk without minding Seokwoo.

“Are you just saying that so that I won’t get worried? Turn on your light.”

Seokwoo complies with the demand and switches on the harsh overhead light. He brings his face closer to his device to prove that he wasn’t harmed and that his face is fine. If Juho is physically in front of him now Seokwoo would probably bump his head on his friend’s on purpose. “I swear it was just air. Inseong made sure of it.”

“Okay but that could’ve been bad. Promise me you’ll be more careful after this. Who knows what you’re going to find in other places.” Juho’s concern sometimes becomes a cause for Seokwoo’s teasing but this time Seokwoo lets himself bask in the warmth of his tone (and the adorable little pout he does when he’s worried).

“I promise.”

“Good.” Juho nods to himself. “What’s Inseong like, by the way?”

“Inseong…” Seokwoo trails off to see what his co-pilot is doing. Possibly eavesdropping from the way he immediately meets Seokwoo’s eyes when he turns around from his desk. Seokwoo just grins when he quirks his eyebrow up. “He’s great!” Inseong gets up and walks towards Seokwoo, and Seokwoo uses the opportunity to face the tablet towards the older man.

“Oh! Hi Inseong!”

If Inseong is surprised by the friendly greeting from a stranger he doesn’t show it. “Hello.”

“He’s my friend, Juho.” Seokwoo says by way of introduction.

“I’ve read about your discovery of the underwater tunnels of Rho.” Juho doesn’t miss a beat. “It’s really fascinating. I think you’re amazing.” It doesn’t surprise Seokwoo that Juho not only read about the study but is also unabashedly showing his admiration to the person involved, but it sure gets Inseong flustered.

“Ahh…” Inseong looks at Seokwoo to see if Seokwoo forced his friend to say it as a way to tease him. Seokwoo just shrugs. “I was just part of the expedition team, I didn’t discover it myself.” Inseong chuckles shyly, still unsure if Juho is serious.

“But you maneuvered the pods through the tunnels! That’s a great feat on its own.”

“Oh, I– Why, thank you. It really wasn’t easy.” Inseong laughs again, trying to appear modestly flattered by Juho’s comment but is absolutely preening from it.

“Well I have to go. It’s almost my waking time so I might as well start my day. Early flight today!”

“Of course. Nice to meet you, Juho!”

“Bye Juho!” Seokwoo waves to the screen.

“Don’t forget your promise Seokwoo! And Inseong, please scold him if he’s not careful next time!”

“Bye~” Seokwoo disconnects the call. He can feel Inseong’s eyes following him when he gets up to return the tablet to his desk. “He was just kidding.” Seokwoo feels the need to clarify before Inseong gets any ideas about being Juho’s agent and reprimanding him, which is what Inseong’s mischievous smile seems to suggest.

“He sounds like a good friend.”

“You’re only saying that because he reads your tunnel report.”

Inseong only laughs at Seokwoo’s allegation. “Maybe. Is he training to be a pathfinder too?”

Seokwoo’s heart twists at the harmless question. “No.” He sits back on the bunk. “I mean, he was, but we discovered that he’s a Roas.”

It’s nothing too alarming, being a Roas. Sure it means he can never leave Serce as his physical bond with the planet makes leaving the equivalent of uprooting a flower from its soil, but plenty of people – Roas or not – had never left and will never leave their home planet, and it’s perfectly fine.

Except for Juho, it was a lifelong dream.

“He didn’t know?”

Seokwoo slowly shakes his head, his eyes fixed on the grooves on the floor panels.

“And he discovered it while training? That’s tough.”

Seokwoo tries not to think about the day he almost lost his best friend but the memories come assaulting him in vivid flashes; their nervous excitement over finally getting to fly above the stromasphere, coming back from his own successful trip to the news of Juho being unconscious mid-flight, almost fainting himself when he sees Juho’s deathly pale and haggard face. It took Juho three days to regain consciousness and two more to finally speak and the first thing he said was ‘You have to go without me.’

“Yeah. It was tough.”

**DAY : 87**

“A little more to the right. Now gently.”

Seokwoo is familiar with docking a spacecraft to a moving station but he still follows Sanghyuk’s guide diligently. After spending more than 30 days with the man traversing challenging terrestrial and celestial landscapes he knows Sanghyuk’s technical prowess is something he aspires to achieve.

Seokwoo keeps his hands steady while maintaining his eyes on the monitor as The Paten glides smoothly into position, almost as if it’s on rails. The moment it connects to the dock the engines automatically cut off as the station’s generator takes over. Seokwoo relaxes in his seat in the two seconds it takes for the lights to come back on, silently sighing in relief.

Sanghyuk looks as relieved as he feels, slumped back in his seat and almost sliding off of it. “You did great.” Sanghyuk’s encouraging smile reminds him of his old flight instructor.

“Thanks. It’s not my first time docking–”

“No, I mean, just in general. For this trip. You did great.” Sanghyuk gives him a thumbs up and the little gesture fills Seokwoo with pride. “Especially at the Kuiper Belt.”

He knows Sanghyuk is just being generous but god damn it he can’t help his smile. “Thanks. I couldn’t do it without you, of course. If it was just me I’d probably lose a wing or two while passing through.”

Sanghyuk laughs loudly at that, unbuckling his seat belts and getting up. “That wouldn’t have been too bad. I almost lost an engine during my first time.”

“Really? How?”

Encouraged by a willing audience Sanghyuk recounts the thrilling tale of his first brush with the field of gigantic ice debris while they go through the docking protocols. It is only in the decontamination chamber that he goes silent, and Seokwoo lets his mind wander to what he wants to do first. Probably sleep. Yes, sleep is good, Seokwoo tell himself as he fights the urge to yawn.

His stomach has other ideas though, so he ends up following Sanghyuk to the food hall where he’s greeted by a friendly face.

“Sanghyuk! Seokwoo!” Jaeyoon waves them over to his table, his dimples prominent under the blinding lights of the hall. “Did you just get back? Actually, don’t answer that. I already know from your smell.”

Seokwoo chuckles at Jaeyoon crinkling his nose at their ‘freshly sanitized’ smell but he plops down opposite his friend anyway. Sanghyuk goes straight to the food counter.

“Great to see you’re back. Someone had actually been looking for you recently.” Jaeyoon says between bites. “Your friend from the academy.”

Upon seeing Seokwoo’s confused expression Jaeyoon’s eyes widen and he presses a hand over his mouth. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have told you that. He said you don’t know he’s coming here and he wanted to surprise you.”

Seokwoo almost said _Juho?_ without thinking but immediately shakes his head at the thought. Maybe the sleep deprivation is messing with his rational thinking.

“Is it Taeyang? Dongsung?”

“I think the second one.”

“Dongsung?”

“Yeah I think so.”

“Seokwoo!”

“Look who I just found.” Seokwoo pulls Taeyang into the frame.

“Taeyangie!”

“Hi.” Taeyang beams at Juho.

“You’re both at the same place? Wow!”

“You say that as if you weren’t the one who said ‘You’re going to CC 612? That’s where Seokwoo is! You have to go find him!’” Taeyang’s Juho impersonation is pretty spot-on, complete with the characteristic lilt in his voice when he’s excited and the cute way he sometimes say Seokwoo’s name.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Juho makes a face that shows he knows exactly what Taeyang is talking about, causing Taeyang to raise a finger to his temple in a mock thinking gesture.

“I remember there was also something else…”

“Yoo Taeyang!”

Seokwoo lets them continue to bicker while he gets his sleepwear out. Sleep might have to wait now that the three of them are together like this. It takes Seokwoo back to their time at the SSA and he couldn’t resist bringing up the incident of how Taeyang literally ran into Juho and crashed into their lives. Taeyang thinking that the fierce-looking man was a trainer at first resulted in some pretty hilarious encounters afterwards and it’s a story they often tell to anyone who’s willing to listen. The irony that Juho is now an actual trainer – albeit for a different institution – is not lost on them.

Taeyang’s scheduler beeps to remind him of his meeting with the Council so he bids goodbye to Seokwoo and Juho before leaving. Seokwoo scarcely turns his attention back to the wall panel when his room door opens again and Taeyang darts back in.

“I forgot something.”

Before Seokwoo manages to say anything Taeyang has his arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace. Juho gasps loudly and cries “Taeyang!” Confused but not averse to hugs Seokwoo brings his arms up to reciprocate but his hands barely touch the other’s back before Taeyang pulls away.

“That was from Juho.”

Seokwoo laughs before he asks “What?” On the screen Juho has his face pressed into his hands. “Taeyang…” he groans.

Taeyang just grins at Seokwoo and flees the scene.

“Um–”

“I told him I was kidding!” Juho exclaims, looking positively distressed. “I knew he wouldn’t listen.”

“I don’t know what just happened.” Seokwoo claims, though he thinks he has a faint idea.

Juho gives a little sigh before jumping straight into narration mode. “When he said he’ll find you I said ‘Give him a hug for me!’ and I was joking, of course, but then he went ‘Okay! But only because I owe you a lot,’ and I immediately said ‘I’m just kidding!’ but he was like ‘Don’t worry, Seokwoo will like it,’ and I said ‘No, he will tease me about it!’ but he still–”

Seokwoo gleefully takes in his friend’s energetic reenactment without interrupting him. How can a person be so effortlessly endearing even while lamenting about being betrayed?

“But I like it,” Seokwoo finally says when Juho once again hides his face in embarrassment and regret.

“You’re just saying that,” Juho mumbles. Seokwoo wishes he could reach over and pinch his cheeks or ruffle his hair.

“No, I mean it. It’s…” childish. It’s cute. It’s such a Juho thing to do. It makes him wish for an actual Juho hug right now just so that he can return it. He misses being close to Juho.

“It’s nice.”

He misses Juho.

“Maybe I’ll get Chani to return your hug. He’s your student now, right?” Seokwoo couldn’t keep a straight face as he says it and he finds himself laughing alongside Juho at the suggestion. Juho’s laughter abruptly dies down and he looks at Seokwoo with a serious face.

“I know you’re just teasing me but please don’t do it. I’m scared that he might strangle me instead.”

**DAY : 151**

_The floating reed islands of the Sumi people are created from the totora reed that is only available on Fael. It is believed that the tribe was forced to choose this lifestyle when the Moollys expanded onto their land. While each island that is part of the community has reed houses, the biggest island features a watchtower. The islands also feature waterways and small pedestrian bridges. The main mode of transportation_

Seokwoo turns off the screen, unwilling to read anymore. He thought reading the briefing pack again was not a bad idea considering they’re going to said islands tomorrow but it’s only making him feel more agitated as the words get jumbled in his already cluttered mind. He checks his time tracker for the local time but his eyes are drawn to the 151 at the top of the screen. While he appreciates that they note the passage of time through Serce days while they’re in space, tonight it reminds him that he’s only halfway through his induction term.

He pushes the blankets off of himself and onto the floor. His companions are all asleep including Youngbin, which means he should very well try to sleep too but Seokwoo finds himself walking down the vast hallway of their gifted residence, his soft footwear making little sound on the stone floor. He strolls past the main door and into the compound, passing the Fael gods statues and the sundials until he’s standing in the shadow of The Eliséan.

_“…being with you was already an adventure.”_

They won’t be taking her tomorrow since there is only one way to access the islands and it is certainly not by spacecraft.

_“I guess now I’m finding a new one.”_

Seokwoo convinces himself that the only reason he’s sneaking into the spacecraft right now is because he’s worried something might have happened to Juho since the last time they’ve spoken. He hadn’t been able to contact Juho since they arrived in Fael a few nights ago, and he would have no way of doing so for the next few days while they’re away from this vessel.

Their last conversation plays in his head while he boots the necessary communications systems. He had playfully commented that Juho is doing so many things and travelling so much recently, it’s like he’s on some sort of adventure quest. Juho’s casual response had him feeling touched and hurt at the same time. He had always subconsciously viewed himself as the one leaving, but at that moment it felt like he was the one being left behind.

Now it’s dawning on him that he’s the one who’s waiting for his call to connect. He’s the one who’s counting the days to go home.

_“Did you know that there are planets that have two suns?”_

_Seokwoo didn’t know that. He looks at their own setting sun and tries to imagine having two of them in the sky. “It must be really hot there.”_

_“Maybe. But they would have two sunsets in a day. It must be pretty.”_

_Seokwoo doesn’t say that he thinks Serce’s sunset is already very pretty._

_“When I grow up, I will find those planets.”_

_Seokwoo doesn’t doubt it. Juho can do anything. “When you find them you have to tell me how the sunsets look.”_

_Juho looks at Seokwoo earnestly. “No, we’ll find them together!”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yes! Don’t you want to go explore the universe?”_

_Seokwoo hasn’t really thought about that possibility before. “With you?”_

_“Of course! We’ll go together!”_

_Seokwoo believes him. “Okay!”_

“Seokwoo.”

Seokwoo wakes up with a start, nearly knocking his head against another in his attempt to sit up.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” Youngbin’s voice pierces through Rowoon’s sleepy haze.

“It’s okay.” He rubs his eyes while sighing, bringing his legs over the side of the bunk but making no attempt to stand up. When he opens his eyes Youngbin is looking at him with concern, and Seokwoo feels guilty for causing that look on him. Youngbin has a lot on his plate for this diplomatic mission and he doesn’t want to add any more cause of worry to the man.

“Sorry. Is it time to go? I’ll get ready.”

“No, not yet. We still have time.” As if to prove his point, Youngbin sits on the bunk opposite Seokwoo. They sit in silence as Seokwoo tries to recall how he ended up there when he only remembers sitting in his desk last night.

“Why did you sleep here instead of the house?” Youngbin asks. Curious, not demanding.

Seokwoo clears his throat. “Their bed is too soft,” he says, which is not entirely untrue. The beds are uncomfortably soft. He doubts Youngbin buys it though, especially since he didn’t seem to have that problem the past few nights, but Youngbin just nods as if he agrees.

After a few beats of silence Youngbin asks again, “Did you manage to call him?”

Seokwoo feels heat rising up to his face. Of course Youngbin knows. Youngbin knows everything. “No.” Seokwoo chuckles to himself, sounding more defeated than he thought. “He didn’t…” He does a vague hand gesture to say that Juho didn’t answer the call, like he didn’t the previous couple of times. Maybe something _did_ happen to him? But at the forefront of his mind Seokwoo knows that Juho’s very busy now and their timing just don’t sync recently. And it’s not like Juho can call him back.

It doesn’t make it any less painful though.

“Youngbin, do you ever feel like you’re missing out on someone’s life?” Seokwoo blurts out before his mind catches up to what he’s asking.

“Of course.” Youngbin smiles like he had been expecting the question. “It’s when you’re so used to being a part of their life and now suddenly they’re on a new journey without you. Maybe it’s exciting, maybe it’s mundane, but you realize that they’re living a separate life away from you.” Youngbin delivers the words calmly, looking off to the side as he does so. “And you feel left out. You become afraid that you’ll drift away from each other or that things will never be the same after this.”

Seokwoo wonders if having mind-reading abilities is one of the criteria to be a leader for this trip. “You take the words right out of my mouth,” he confesses in awe, earning him a soft laughter from the senior pathfinder.

“I don’t have…” Youngbin pauses to find the right words, “what you have with Juho,” Seokwoo bites down the question of what does he mean by that in favour of letting the man continue, “but I know that feeling of being left out. It’s a sacrifice that we have to make with this lifestyle.”

Seokwoo is aware of that, of course. It’s just that Juho had always been in the picture for so long, he never really had the time to prepare himself for this reality that’s just starting to sink in. But this lifestyle – this career is what he wanted for so long. He has to accept that he simply cannot have everything he wishes for.

“It’s selfish.” Seokwoo mutters, more to himself than to Youngbin.

“What is?”

“Wanting to be a part of their life all the time.”

Youngbin gives him a gentle, fond smile, the kind that makes him glad that Youngbin is the person he’s having this conversation with. “Maybe. But sometimes it’s okay to be a bit selfish for love.”

Wait. “ _Love?_ ”

“There you are!” Inseong bursts through the doorway, one hand clutching his chest. He makes a great show of trying to catch his breath, but they’ve seen it too many times to be truly concerned. Youngbin just laughs.

“Did you run here?”

Inseong drops the act. “I fast-walked. Sanghyuk thought you two were kidnapped! He’s ready to declare war!”

“Oh no!” Youngbin exclaims with amusement rather than alarm.

“Yeah.” Inseong leaves quickly and Youngbin looks back at Seokwoo. “We better get going then. Are you okay?” He still has on that kind smile, and how can anyone say they’re not okay after that smile? But Seokwoo still has something to clarify to Youngbin.

“I–”

“Are you coming?” Inseong is at the door again. “The suns are up. Come on!”

“Yeah, we’re coming.” Youngbin stands up as Inseong leaves for the second time. He looks expectantly back at Seokwoo.

“I’m okay.” Seokwoo smiles to convince himself. “Let’s go.”

**DAY : 230**

“Seokwoo!” If Seokwoo’s heart skips a beat upon seeing Juho’s face and hearing the affectionate call of his name he blames it on the weird spicy dish Youngkyun made him try earlier.

“Hi Juho.” Or maybe it’s the fact that he hadn’t seen that face or hear that voice in eons and he just misses him _so damn much_.

“Are you alright? Did something happened?” Juho asks carefully. There’s something about his soft voice that makes Seokwoo want to tell him that the reason why he hadn’t contacted him in the past 30-odd days is because each call reminds him of how far he is from the other. He wants to tell Juho that seeing him on a screen is not enough, and that every time he arrives at a new location or discovers a beautiful landscape the only thing on his mind is how much he wishes Juho is right there with him.

Instead, he tells Juho about the planet they just left and its huge inhabitants. He describes how everyone there towers over him and Youngkyun and recounts how Youngkyun got the title ‘little prince’. Juho responds like he usually does, with interest and enthusiasm. He doesn’t ask if that’s why Seokwoo had been off-radar for so long, he only checks that Seokwoo is healthy and fine.

Seokwoo asks about Juho’s life ~~without him~~ and Juho talks about the funny antics of his students and about his latest trip to a remote mountain range where he experienced the most difficult flying conditions in his life (“nothing compared to what you’ve gone through I’m sure”). Juho also mentions where he has to go next and shares his plan to buy his own lightweight aircraft in the future.

 _The future_. It’s something that Seokwoo doesn’t try to imagine now. From the moment he developed his thirst for adventure and exploration, _this_ was his future. He always assumed that once he arrives he will naturally find his next path. But now that he’s here he doesn’t know what he wants anymore.

Or maybe he just doesn’t dare to admit it.

“Hey, Juho?”

“Hm?” Juho stops in the middle of explaining how he’s going to find the right craft. Sometimes Seokwoo thinks that Juho being a Roas and having to stay on Serce is a divine intervention because the way Juho goes about his life now and pursuing the things he wants is like this is what he’s meant to do. Seokwoo had always admire his spirit and hard work, but now more so than ever.

“Seokwoo?” Juho leans in slightly as he waits for Seokwoo to continue. There’s obvious tiredness around his eyes and seeing how it’s actually quite late for him now, he might have already been sleeping before this call.

“I love you.”

It's not the first time Seokwoo had said it. He said it whenever Juho let him copy his notes when he was late or just not paying attention. He said it when Juho brought him food during a particularly long night of cleaning duties. He practically shouted it when Juho gifted him the VR console he had been eyeing for ages.

But maybe, just maybe this time he wishes for a different response than Juho's usual small laughter or the occasional eye roll. Maybe there's a sense of desperation in his voice that he doesn't quite understand. Maybe Juho doesn't understand it too, as he doesn't respond for a long time, just staring at his screen while Seokwoo starts to think the call has been disconnected.

“You should get some rest.”

Seokwoo’s heart sinks. A laughter would’ve been better.

“You’re right.” Seokwoo takes a deep, shaky breath, looking anywhere but at his friend. “I’ll talk to you some other time. Take care, Juho.”

“Seokwoo…” but Seokwoo already disconnects the call. He knows that tone. He doesn’t want Juho to comfort him, or worse, say something out of pity. He lets his head falls down till his forehead touches the cold metal of his desk. His face burns with embarrassment but more than that, his whole body feels heavy with the realization of the true extent of his feelings.

And he sprung that on Juho out of nowhere?

“I’m such an idiot.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

Seokwoo almost jumps out of his seat. Youngkyun is standing behind him, leaning against his own desk and eating the spicy goop silently. “Maybe a bit foolish, but you’re not an idiot.”

“When did you come in?” Seokwoo eyes the compartment door suspiciously. He thought he would surely hear the door when it opens.

“Just before you said _the words_ ,” Youngkyun replies dramatically.

Great.

“Since when are you in the habit of eavesdropping?” Seokwoo says with no real malice. He had long accepted the fact that there’s not much privacy to be found in space when you’re stuck in a cramped vessel most of the time.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping. I just wanted to ask if you want any more of this. But too late, I’m finishing it now.”

Seokwoo tries not to look too pleased with that.

“Since when are you in the habit of confessing your love to unsuspecting friends?” Youngkyun asks, and Seokwoo wants to laugh and probably cry at the same time.

“Since today.” He buries his face in his hands as the regret returns. “I really shouldn’t have said it.”

“Why not?”

“How can I say that when I’m lightyears away? He probably thinks that I’m just feeling lonely.” Seokwoo had that thought too. He wondered if he had mistaken loneliness or homesickness with this strange longing. But he has a lot of close friends and colleagues to avoid feeling lonely. And he doesn’t particularly miss Serce as much as he actually misses _Juho_.

Youngkyun looks thoughtful, frowning ever so slightly while he scoops more goop into his mouth. “Actually he might know that you mean it. That’s why he doesn’t know how to react.”

“Because he doesn’t feel the same?”

“Because he’s not ready to have that discussion.” He looks straight at Seokwoo, serious. “Maybe he doesn’t want his feelings to influence you.”

“Influence me how?

“How much are you willing to sacrifice for him, Seokwoo?”

How is he supposed to answer that? He doesn’t have much to sacrifice anyway. Can he say everything?

Youngkyun continues without waiting for an answer. “If he asks you to come back to Serce now, would you do it?”

Seokwoo remembers the day he left his home planet and how he thought Juho might ask him to stay. “He would never do that.”

“ _Hypothetically_ , Seokwoo.” There’s just a tiny hint of frustration in Youngkyun’s voice. “Would you do it?”

He would’ve stayed if Juho had asked him to back then. And he wouldn’t hesitate to return home now, too. “Yes.”

Youngkyun nods pensively. “And he probably doesn’t want that. I think he would much rather see you achieve your dreams and do what you want without putting any expectations on your friendship. Because love is selfless that way.”

Is it love though? If it is, maybe it’s better to be selfish like Youngbin said. Maybe he wants Juho to tell him that he misses him too, to want him to come back. But that’s not the Juho that he knows. The Juho that he knows never puts himself before others. He didn’t ask Seokwoo about his long period of absence because he didn’t want Seokwoo to feel guilty about it. He was always there for Seokwoo even after he himself dropped out from the space programme, supporting him unconditionally. And when it was time, he let him go.

Youngkyun is right. Maybe it was kindness (and love?) that made Juho react that way. Maybe he was confused. Or maybe he thought Seokwoo wasn’t in the right mind. Either way it’s time for Seokwoo to be the friend that Juho deserves. A friend who doesn’t expect anything in return, a friend who will give him time.

“You’re actually quite a wise one, Youngkyun.”

“I know,” the wise one replies, tipping the food container into his mouth and slurping loudly.

“They should’ve called you little sage instead.”

Youngkyun narrows his eyes at Seokwoo, not appreciating the call back to the nickname he so detested. “I take it back, maybe Juho just doesn’t like you.”

“Youngkyun!”

**DAY : 301**

“Seokwoo?” That voice. He didn’t expect to hear it so soon when he gets here but there he is.

“Chani! Hey!” He greets Chani with a hug. He missed the little guy.

“Why are you back so soon?”

That brat.

“Because I heard you missed me, of course.”

“Maybe after a million years,” Chani retorts, but he still lets Seokwoo pets his head. “Are you looking for Juho? He’s running the simulation now.”

“Oh.” Of course seeing Juho is the only reason he’s at the aviation academy (sorry Chani) but now he’s not sure if he’s ready.

“We can go see him.”

“Okay.” Who is he kidding, he had been waiting for this day for so long. His stomach doing back flips is not going to stop him.

Chani leads them through the large complex to where Juho is while sharing his plans about what he wants to do after he gets his flying license. He also tells Seokwoo how the students like Juho and it makes Seokwoo proud that this is the path Juho had chosen.

“I noticed he was a bit jittery today but I thought I was only imagining it. Now I know why.” Chani suddenly says.

“Why?”

“Because you were coming back.”

“But I didn’t tell him I’m coming back today.” Only his colleagues knew about it. He thought he’d give Juho a little surprise.

“Really? Must be his sixth sense then.”

Seokwoo laughs quietly. Is it possible that Juho was keeping track of Seokwoo’s time in space? The idea of Juho counting the days to Seokwoo’s return is somehow making his heart race even more.

“Did something happen between you two?” Chani asks as if he sensed the nervousness radiating off of Seokwoo.

“Umm…” After _the_ call Seokwoo didn’t contact Juho for a while, hoping to give him space. When he finally did call it was like nothing unusual ever happened, like the call was just another call. If there were awkward pauses in their calls after that, or if Juho started to bite his nails more during such lull, neither of them actually addressed it. It was like there’s an unspoken agreement to ignore the hanging confession and go back to their usual selves.

“Not really.”

Seokwoo likes to think that rather than ignoring it, they are waiting for a better time to address it.

They arrive outside the simulation room where the glass wall allows them to see everything in it. There’s Juho with his back towards them, conversing with a few students in what seems to be a serious manner. It feels surreal to Seokwoo that he’s finally here. He is more than happy to just watch Juho in action from behind the glass even though all he wanted to do before he landed was to see Juho without a screen between them (and possibly hold him close and never let go).

Chani has other ideas though, and before Seokwoo knows it Chani is already inside the room, ambling steadily towards Juho. Seokwoo tries to breathe normally when he sees Juho looking at Chani in surprise. Then he sees Seokwoo.

Seokwoo curiously watches every minute change on Juho’s face, feeling himself mirroring him without meaning to; smiling when Juho bursts into his beautiful bright smile, and laughing when he does. His heart soars in elation as he realizes that this is real; that he could walk into the room and give Juho that long-outstanding hug, or that he might finally have the courage to tell him what he feels. He doesn’t know if Juho feels the same love and longing like he does, or even if his own feeling is just a result of being away for too long, but Juho is happy and that’s all that matters. Seokwoo is never letting this go.

**DAY : ~~301~~ 1**

* * *

**DAY : 1000**

“Did you hear the news?”

“What news?”

“They found a planet that orbits three stars.”

“Oh…” Seokwoo did not know that.

“It would have three sunsets in a day. Imagine that.”

Seokwoo doesn’t try to. Not when their own majestic sunset is laid out in front of them in its blue, purple and pink splendour. “It can’t be more beautiful than this one though.”

Juho nods against his shoulder. “I believe you.”

Seokwoo turns to observe Juho, finding him sporting a contented smile as he admires the view. When he notices Seokwoo staring he resituates himself so that he’s facing the other with his chin resting on Seokwoo’s shoulder, teasing him with the distance.

Seokwoo’s lips itch to say the words he had said a thousand times over but he holds back in favour of drawing out the moment and just appreciating Juho’s playful look. Maybe Juho hears him anyway because his smile becomes wider as he leans in closer. As Seokwoo meets him halfway he catches the reflection of the sky in Juho’s eyes before they close and he knows he’s right. There is nothing more beautiful than this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this until the end! Comments/kudos are very much appreciated! ❤
> 
> Thanks fic fest mod for making it happen!
> 
> If you caught The Little Prince references here it's because the initial idea of the fic is sort of inspired by the book ♡


End file.
